Vipassana Nights 1 to 10


Vipassana Night 1:

Slept ok, the noise of the halls, the doors have no locks, so every time one of the 20 goes to the loo, through the middle fire door, all doors rattle as the air moves, so sleep a little and still feel wide awake at 3.30 a.m.


Vipassana Night 2:

Sleep well and FULLY refreshed, heard the movement of the doors and ignore. Had the window open even though it rained most of the day and night, the weather seems like the camp mood, we are all feeling the pain of the loss of speech, meat, freedom, family and the sitting pains!


Vipassana Night 3:

Keep wondering about my nose disappearing πŸ˜‰ sleep well.


Vipassana Night 4:

Sleep well after a hard day of the full body scanning, go asleep scanning my body – bliss


Vipassana Night 5:

Bed 9.30 p.m., out like a light, today we heard about things rising up.

At 1.30 a.m. someone sits on the pillow end of my bed, after years of feeling spirits I know it’s not a currently alive in a physical body presence.

I also awake to the noise and pressure on the bed from a dream where I’ve seen DEATH, I’m watching and interacting in my dream [ you would call it a nightmare, yet it’s not REAL enough to elicit FEAR, it’s a bit like watching a film and the first time being shocked by the scary moment, then watching again, knowing it will occur and only a bit being shocked… ]

NOTE: it’s 13:11 as I write this, Monday 19th June 2017, got up at 4.30 a.m. πŸ˜‰, the day has gone slowly because I am fully focused, and efficient, they said I would notice a good improvement in the way I show up and the work ethic and work output – so far totally true πŸ˜‰

I roll onto my back, so my backs not facing the lets call it spirit and I look at the ceiling, its dark as dark in the countryside in Herefordshire, I do not look towards the spirit.

The dream continues as I’m awake and the person who I see is my Nan ( Simmons, a beautifully hearted lady ), we are in a house and so are lots of others that died. Then the house disappears and I see a sphere again, it’s got lot of strips of light, most very dull and the bottom left is a bright one, though half what it could be ! I see that’s me at 51. And the others I come to know are all the people who died in my life and had some impact on me because they died.

I then think about the ‘Conversations with God’ books and the ‘HOME WITH GOD’ ( In a life that never ends) by Neale Donald Walsch. And that the idea that we are a soul that has lived and lives now and will forever.Β  And the soul has a body, a different one, usually, each time it becomes physical.

NOTE : As I type on Monday 19th June 2017 ( Emma’s birthday, though she is at work !) it’s HOT, 31C [87.8F] and I’m in the Conservatory of the rented house, the blinds are broken and the landlord will not replace, so its HOTTER than the OVEN… πŸ˜‰

I realised that when they all died I was not sure where they went and how they got there, did they go to Hell, Heaven, Nothing. If you’ve read the books, if not PLEASE do, they let you know that Hell is not real and Heaven is sort of and that we come here and to other planets FOREVER, we are Whole, Perfect and Complete and with and one with the universe ( God) and as we are perfect we come into a bodily physical form to experience what’s it is like not to be perfect and whole. I imagine a bit like people that are a house owner and comfy in warm beds most nights, and they give up their bed and sleep a week as a street sleep – to experience what’s is like to have nothing. Our souls do that to see what it’s like to be a Killer, A Saint, A Father, A Mother, A Drunkard, A Pope, A Prime Minster and so on for each and every ‘type’ of person that inhabits the worlds.

Those books allowed me to remember that all the dead people in my life went onto something divine and were fine, yet I had the thoughts of ‘were they okay?’ locked away in my body, from before I knew they were all fine.

Like stress makes you ache, the mind pains make your body ache.

And my body wanted to stop aching about the deaths I had been witness to, the funerals I have cried at rather than celebrated the lives at.

I saw all this in a moment and I said to Nan, ‘Rise up’ and I felt a pain like, well it has to be said, really bad gut ache and wind, pass from the left of my lower bowel to the far right side and what I imagined was my appendix, where it caused an ‘on fire feeling’ in that area and then it passed and the dull light in the sphere disappeared and the feeling of Nan being ‘trapped’ in my mind and body left and I felt joy that she lives now and forever and I’ll see her again someday ( not too soon πŸ˜‰ ).

This repeated for the next 2 hours and a lot of people, from Nans and Grandads, Cousins, Uncles, God Fathers, Friends, Friends Parents, Loved ones Parents, Those I saw on the News, Twin Towers, IRA deaths, Army Deaths, Wars, Famines, Shootings, Bombings and so on…… at 3.30 a.m. I feel asleep with a feeling of having lost a massive weight, at 4 a.m. I was wide awake and more refreshed than ever and had a good day.

Vipassana Night 6:

Slightly worried about sleep and then had a great one

Over next few days, I remembered others that had died and I let them pass on up.

Vipassana Night 7:

Slept well

Vipassana Night 8:

Slept well

Vipassana Night 9:

Slept well and up at 3.30 a.m. excited that last day of not talking as day 10 we can talk from 9.45 a.m. and meet everyone.

Vipassana Night 10:

Slept well my last night in the single cell roomed I now called home.

AND into the LAST day