Vipassana Day 5


Vipassana Day 5:

Today we scanned the body over and over and over.

My nose was still sensitive like day 3, and even parts of my cheekbones and skull under hairline and around my beard area on the face and under chin had sensations, mostly of itching.

Other places had no sensations, apart from my buttocks and thigh muscles that SCREAMED at me when we were asked to sit still and not move AT ALL! For a WHOLE HOUR!!!!!!!

That was painful….

I left this out the first draft as I thought too much:

I was scanning my body and over and over when I stopped following the pattern I knew from my physical shape and just followed naturally and I did my arms and then start on my back, shoulders blades and area and I found a shadow and an arm, no two arms, for a moment I thought spider, alien, then I saw wings and I still can, in my mind’s eye, or just off right and or left of vision!.

I had wings like an angel at some point, no big deal it seems from the thoughts I remember we have all had wings at some point, yet as we’ve taken the human form they don’t fit the normal physique.

It feels cool and for a short period, I imagined them being there fully and the feeling of powerful energy. I also did that with my horse and imagined her power and the shoulders and back and rear quarters power was immense. I will explore that some more for sure.

Today I was sitting eating breakfast of porridge with prunes and sultanas and later on day 10, someone else commented, that when you eat in silence and you are attuned to yourself and the body vibrations food taste extra good and you appreciate it so much more than when you eat quickly while reading texts on your phone, I plan to be more present while eating and savour the tastes and sensations.

As I eat breakfast at a slow and leisurely pace, I was looking out the window and taking in the early morning view of the garden and birds catching flies and worms, the cool fresh air of morning brushed like a feather against my face and I felt Blissful.

A memory, many came to me over the days, from being 2 and my brother Peter being born and my sister Liza when I was 5, I remembered shitting in my pants at school because the loo roll ran out and I was afraid of the teacher and Dad coming to pick me up, clean me up and take me with him to collect my new little sister from hospital along with Mum, I had video like memories come flooding back over the days while I sat at leisure during and after breakfast and lunch. I was like my mind went all the way back and played all the great scenes for me, before it did, it did play back all the embarrassing, annoying, horrible, bullied, mugged, dumped, sick, moments, however they had a I’ve seen it before edge that make it seems like it happened to someone in a film and not me !

Anyway to the point, as I ate my delicious breakfast I saw in the mind’s eye THE LION.

THE LION of my childhood that came at me every time I was ill with fever.

I’d be in bed, sweating and hot and fever burning through my body and a full grow male lion, mane and tail flowing in the breeze of its speed, would charge up the stairs, my bed look out the bedroom door to the top of stairs, the lion would turn the 90 degrees bend at the top of stairs and teeth and fangs exposed, claws out ready to strike would launch and fly straight at me, at the last moment I’d put up my arms ready for the pain of its attack….

Nothing hit me…. I’d scream in panic anyway and Mum or Dad would come to me and ask what was it and I said THE LION attacked me again and they’d say it was my imagination and to rest now.

As I sat, just about to put another spoonful of warm and creamy porridge into my mouth I realised THE LION was not attacking me, he was attacking my Fever, he was protecting me! And he had been protecting me all his and my lives, I realised he was one of my guardian angels. I sat spoon midway to my mouth, my mouth agape and tears streamed down my cheeks as I realised my misperceptions. I gave THE LION thanks and felt such peace…..

It also gave me a remembering of the time Dads shoes walked across the landing, no fever this time, they were walking big high steps, ‘saw me!’ And ran back to the top of the stairs where he left them sometimes !! I get the mickey taken about that often 🙂